其實到回來很久以後，我才比較有時間真正沉澱下來，
到這個時候才真正發覺原來這趟旅程給我的反饋很多，
多到自己無法想像
A long time after I backed to Taiwan, I just really have some time to throw back the journey
Found that it actually gave me lots of feedbacks and influences
Much than I ever wondered.
這趟旅程的反饋倒不是什麼很制式的東西，
反而是自己對心靈層面想法上的提升
（雖然我媽都說她感覺不到我的改變哈哈）
Those feedbacks I think were not sth very concretize
It’s kind of the upgrade for ideas and mind
(though my mom said she feel no changes lol)
以前很多事情在思考的時候很直觀
也不會對很多發生在自己身上的事想得很深，反覆去多考慮一次兩次
I directly thinking everything which came front to me before,
And never deeply & repeatedly thinking them more times
但經過這一趟以後，
對於事情我開始會去盡可能多方面做考量，
就好像把一個團隊裝在腦裡對所見所聞進行一場場辯證，
越想越深層，越來越往心底挖，
最後才決定自己的結論跟立場
After the journey,
I start to try to think issues more,
Thinking deeply then decide what’s my conclusions and the view I support
就像我常說以前自己很「腦衝」，想到什麼說什麼，很多第一時間用主觀直覺做判讀，
現在就會比較多是頓一拍甚至兩拍再講話，
就會讓自己發言相對理性也比較是每句話都言之有物的感覺，
至少不無腦了別人大概也會比較信任自己吧，
但最大收穫我覺得其實是開始能聽得了別人的話，開始能做一個傾聽者
Just like I ever said that I was very impulse to say anything I want
I wouldn’t care what’s the situation at the time
But after the journey, Now I most think several times before talking
Make the words rationally and I think others who can trust what I said more
On the other hand, I found myself can listen others advices that maybe totally different from my ideas
That’s the thing I can’t do that fine before
甚至也努力重新釐清自己這幾年想一直往外國去的原因，
一方面大概是種嚮往吧，對未知世界的好奇，
某部分可能也覺得這個社會好像對我而言包袱太大，
又像我常覺得這社會問題太多太醜陋但又好像無解，
甚至我不知道以後留在這裡的我要做什麼，在哪裡落腳棲身，
這狀態不是像一些人說的什麼年輕人覺得台灣沒有未來，
而是一個內心探求上找不到安定點的感覺，
就很像我前陣子說想要不帶著3C產品去一場流浪一樣
如果把人生當作一件要被描述的物品，把自己當作敘述者，
其實對很多自己要的功能性標籤蠻明確的，但我找不到大主題來包裝
I even try to discuss why I want to go abroad in these years again
Maybe a yearning, an interested to the unknown world
Or maybe in my mind I really feel the society gets burdened to me
Lots of problems in the society, but seems no solution
I even don’t know what can I do if I stay here,
The meaning is not like somebody says there’s no future in Taiwan,
I just have no comfort zone in my mind
If the life is a journey that like a package tour which be sold in travel agency,
Mine is that full of functionality labels, but no topic
或許因為在這趟旅程裡有更懂自己一些吧，
多出了很多需要自己去做思考、探求的課題，
老實說還很多事沒很費心力去思考，或許未來會再明確的
雖然覺得人生產生的問題好像一輩子都想不完
I think I really know more about myself in the journey,
Much more things make me need to reflect after the tour,
But it really needs more times as well,
Someday maybe everything will have a clear answer, but not now,
Maybe not, cuz I think the lessons of life never end if still alive (haha)
因為說真的，
我覺得對時事擁有自己想法很簡單，
但要對自己進行剖析，超級困難，
因為自己雖然有時會懂自己想要什麼，
但要對於「自己」這整個人要做自定義實在不簡單，人很複雜，超複雜
In my view,
It’s easy to have some ideas for the news,
But too difficult to analysis the question, “who am I”, to myself,
Sometimes I know what I want for a product maybe,
But it’s hard to define “I” by myself,
humans are complex, people are complex, I am too complex
感覺自己想法經歷旅行後有越發成熟些，有更明確自己的價值觀跟性格底線，
以前可能受媒體報導、風向影響很多，
看報導的第一時間就「被」決定了立場，
從出國之前其實就有發現這個問題，嘗試慢慢在改變，
而在旅程中又更確認自己想要的狀態是什麼，怎麼去達到我想要做的改變，
回來之後也盡可能在有限時間裡盡快達成目標
I felt myself became more mature for my mind, clearly more about my limits
I may be influenced from the medias before,
My positions were decided by those positions about news I read
I found the problem before I started the journey, and try to solve,
I know the situation I want to reach and how to reach it when I was in the journey,
Trying my best to arrive the place after I back home
我算是蠻急性子的人啦，能主動的事情忍不了等待，又有點跳躍性思考
常常做A的時候就在規劃B，規畫完就想加速做完A，或是直接AB同時執行，
要我做極度制式的步驟式思考也會很痛苦的那種，
某方面來說是討厭被設框架，覺得綁手綁腳的感覺，
但現實世界就不是能為所欲為的阿，該要被規範的還是要照著來，算是看開了
不過偶爾還是很哀怨XD
I am an impatient person, I can’t wait to do those if I have the initiative,
Sometimes even a non-linear thinking person,
I can be ruled, but I hate to be framed from others,
But the world really not centered on you.
最後在歸國研習生會議上聽到的影響力那段話，
讓我不知不覺又想起自己第一次上課說的那個大魚小魚的事，
當時真的想不到臨場靈機一動說的話，
會有學生在一週後的workshop在我面前提到，
還跟我說她覺得我那天課堂說的幾段話，很值得她記得一輩子，
當下很驚訝，後來更是成為了很大的一份感動吧，
之後每次想到的時候真的也很激動，差點沒流眼淚XD
On the day of the meeting which for the returned volunteers in TW,
I heard some words that made me fell into the memory of the session which Stafania said she feel meaningful for the big fish and small fish story I talked,
I was surprising that time when I heard she said to me, and also touched,
就覺得自己何德何能吧，我的一句話可以影響另一個人的價值觀
也體驗到以前聽過人說過「話語是有力量的」這句話
Just I feel oh my, my words seem to have some power to influence someone
另一個大概是重新學著用真心去對待每個人
曾經有過一段時間我覺得活得很累，好像怎麼樣都很假裝，
也必須承認那段日子裡的確因此可能人際關係不那麼好，
甚至後期嚴重到我會去猜忌別人待我是真是假，
在外面對人的相處，自己內心幾乎是瀕臨崩潰的狀態，
有點感覺除了家人，其他對我都帶惡意的感受
Another influence I think is that I finally took off my mask and treated others with the real me
I felt tried to live in the world when I was in junior high,
I felt myself always fake to stay with others except my family,
Must admit that the friendships not so fine at that time
I sometimes even guess others treat me real or fake
可是在外國那段時間，就感覺到自己終於真正把心放寬了，
不管對誰都有勇氣把真心交出去，即使一開始覺得這就像場賭博，
雖然交出去的真心可能稜稜角角，
但當發現彼此都把心交出去的瞬間，其實也不用說就有感受，
那種美好可能是真的難以言喻
But when I was in ROM, I just felt free,
I can pay all myself to anyone I met, though at the beginning just like a gambling,
我記得旅程最後當飛機確定降落到台灣的那一秒，
我嘴裡只是一直重複說著「到家了」三個字，
忘記自己重複說了多少遍，可是心裡突然很踏實、感觸很多，
很想哭，
下飛機，到過關中間走得也特別慢，
直到最後深吐了一口氣，好像感覺化整為零一樣，結束一場流浪
I remembered that moment when the pilot broadcasted the plane arrived Taiwan with safety,
I just murmured that “I arrived home” in Chinese for much more time,
And felt touched with the feeling I finally back home, stay tuned with it,
Walking very slowly after got off the plane,
Just like I broke up the whole into parts,
End up to be a roamer.
(全篇架構寫於2018/09/29；部分補充於2019/07/03)
※Happy anniversary to our first meet, guys. Miss you so much.※
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~看更多【旅行之後】系列文章~
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/297603928 - 【旅行之後】一個人的旅行/To Travel Alone
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/297127248 - 【旅行之後】論羅馬尼亞/To Talk About Romania
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/267987452 - 旅行之後：公共廁所 (下) / After the tour: Toilets pt.2
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~看看【台灣旅遊】系列文章吧~
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/302601020 - 【台灣旅遊】《彰化》溪湖糖廠吃冰棒坐五分車！
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/302826329 - 【台灣旅遊】《彰化》鹿港 桂花巷藝術村
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/303477242 - 【台灣旅遊】《台中》林酒店住宿一晚心得
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~看看【AIESEC】系列文章吧~
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/252320864 - Welcome Party
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/284008288 - 【AIESEC】羅馬尼亞文化/The Romanian Culture
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/284980800 - 【AIESEC】自信/Self-Confidence
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~看看【羅馬尼亞】系列文章吧~
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/265611208 - 上廁所竟然要花錢！？ / Spending money for toilet?!
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/277780064 - ALBA博物館/The museum in Alba Iulia
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/280744100 - 【羅馬尼亞】布拉索夫/Brasov
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/287147280 - 【羅馬尼亞】最後的旅程，蒂米什瓦拉/The Last Tour, Timisoara
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/289057200 - 【羅馬尼亞】最後的旅程，康斯坦察/The Last Trip, Constanta
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/291465528 - 【羅馬尼亞】最終站，CLUJ/The Final, Back To Cluj
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~看看【異國友情】系列文章吧~
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/273917960 - 我的土耳其朋友們~~ (3) / My Turkish Friends~~ (3)
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/274031200 - 我的土耳其朋友們~~ (4) / My Turkish Friends~~ (4)
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/285461408 - 【異國友情】我的羅馬尼亞學生們/My Participants in Romania
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/285562864 - 【異國友情】我的羅馬尼亞Ambassadors/My Romanian Ambassadors
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~看看【飛機之旅】系列文章吧~
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/236533778 - 出發&回歸 – 飛機之旅 (上)
https://wayne0722.pixnet.net/blog/post/236538080 - 出發&回歸 – 飛機之旅 (下)
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